Q&A

Is it love?

The following test was designed by the popular radio talk show host Dr. Laura. After taking this test, you'll quickly know whether your relationship has a good chance of growing into a long-lasting relationship, and maybe even marriage. Answer each question with "yes" or "no." After taking the test, check your score results below. Afterwards, have your boyfriend/girlfriend take the test to see how you compare. Most importantly, be honest! Your future happiness depends on it

1.Can you say there's no jealousy in your relationship?

2.Is your relationship free of drug and alcohol abuse?

3.Can you say you're never asked to compromise your moral values?

4.Do you appreciate and enjoy each other's family and friends?

5.Have you discussed your long-term goals for faith, family and career in detail?

6.Do you have complete confidence in each other?

7.Has experience shown him/her to always be truthful and open with you?

8.Does he/she always follow through on promises and commitments?

9.Do you talk openly and easily with each other about everything? (Including this test?)

10.Do you both listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other's point of view?

11.Do you practice the same faith by praying and going to church together regularly?

12.Do you both agree that marriage is forever?

13.Do you refrain from using manipulation or blackmail to get your own way?

14.Do you like spending time together doing different activities? (Not just watching TV, mall shopping or talking on the phone together. I recommend volunteering for church, charity and civic projects -- or joining school clubs, bands, debate teams or sports programs.)

15.When you have a disagreement or the going gets tough, do both of you respond respectfully
with patience and understanding?

16.Have your family and friends told you they approve of your relationship -- that they feel it's making you a better person?

17.Do you limit your physical relationship to holding hands and simple kisses?

18.Have you seen each other during good times and bad? (Virtues shine during adversity. Never rush to marriage. You'll miss critical signs of good or bad character traits.)

19.Do you both stay away from pornographic magazines, videos, internet, etc.?

20.If your future spouse had a serious accident that maimed or disfigured him/her for life, would your love remain strong? Could your love survive without physical expression?

21.Do each of you dress, speak and act modestly?

22.Can you admit your own shortcomings and discuss them openly?

23.Are you both generous in making sacrifices for others?

24.Does your sweetheart already have the qualities needed to be a super spouse and a wonderful parent for your children?

25.Are you willing to give up power and let your loved one control some of the important decisions and circumstances? (True love means frequently surrendering your will to meet your loved one's needs and wishes without violating your moral values.)

Here's the Scoring . . .

Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer and zero points for each "no" answer.(Her score?____ His Score?____)

22 to 25 pts. "Solid as a Rock!". . .
It's True Love! Congratulations on a very strong relationship.

19 to 21 pts. "Looking Good!". . .
You're relationship has good potential. With a little work, you can become "Solid as a Rock."

15 to 18 pts. "Warning Signals!". . .
It might be "Infatuation." Work on the "No's." Take the test again in 6 months and again in 12 months. Hopefully your scores will improve and your relationship will grow. If your relationship doesn't greatly improve within a year, you should consider ending it.

Below 15 pts. "Red Alert!". . .
Sorry, this may be painful to hear, but it's probably time to say "goodbye." It's either blind infatuation or there are other serious problems. (If you're married and you scored below 15 points, don't give up -- get some good marriage counseling ASAP.)

** Bonus Question **

Are both of you committed to saving sex for marriage?

If yes, add 2 points to your score.

Important Tip from Dr. Laura . . .

"It's difficult to get an accurate reading from my Is it Love? test if you're sexually active. Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"