Tuesday, September 30, 2008

“what happens when someone breaks your heart?”

When someone breaks your heart, first you are SHOCKED.Someone will say you are heartbroken and you examine the words break, and heart, and heartbroken, and you immediately decide that’s its inaccurate. You feel pain in the region of your heart and you think it’s your heart breaking but one’s heart doesn’t really break, something else does – faith. You stop believing. No, not in the big things which are most of the time irrelevant? You still believe in God or Buddha or some supreme being. You still believe that child prostitution is bad. You just stop believing in small things that you do, that gives you meaning to your daily life, and begin to think everything is priorities. Why get up? Why dress up? Why breathe in and out? What for? When someone breaks your heart, (your faith), you stop believing and you switch off the lights inside your heart. Someone is home but someone is lying in the dark, in the room farthest from the gate, and that someone can’t hear anything. Friends, parents, they all come to call her from the gate (‘come out” which means “move on”). But they are unheard, unseen, and unacknowledged. When someone breaks your heart, you turn into a small ball of self-pity. You lie in bed, in a ball. You hug your knees, keeping them close to your chest, like a fetus. Freud said its human instinct to get back to the womb where we can feels safe. But that’s what happen when someone breaks your heart – they steal the very thing that makes you feel safe, whole, intact

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