Monday, January 12, 2009

is your relationship still working? (try to check…)

Sad but true, some good things indeed never last. That’s just the way life is.
Some relationships last for years only for both partners to find out that they really weren’t meant for each other. Other relationships start anything but peacefully, then turn romantic, and end violently. Still other don’t even last for a month or a week.

THE TEN(10) SIGNS WHEN A RELATIONSHIP IS NO LONGER A REAL-ATIONSHIP

1. YOU NO LONGER LOOK FORWARD TO SPEND TIME ALONE WITH YOUR PARTNER
You may still have a seemingly good lovelife but actually talking to your partner seems like chore or routine. If spending time alone with your partner seems like a prison sentence, then you may be up for a parole.

2. YOU BEGIN COMPARING YOUR PARTNER TO OTHERS
If however, you find that you’re comparing specific traits - a person’s voice, their neatness, the way they carry themselves, etc., against others, and especially things your partner can’t change - then it’s high time to re-evaluate your relationship.

3. YOU CRITICIZE OR “MICRO-MANAGE” YOUR PARTNER
If you always concerned that your partner’s socks aren’t exactly right for his pants, or that she wears too much make-up, or that he/she just can’t seem to take their responsibilities seriously, don’t look at them - look at yourself first.

4. YOU START TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER
It’s a fact that many people who will initially excite them, but find that this excitement isn’t good for them in the long term. If you find that you’re constantly trying to convert your partner from the person you fell in love with, then….

5. YOU LOOK BACK(AND EVEN ATTEMPT TO RE-CONNECT W/ FORMER PARTNER)
It’s one thing to send former sweet a birthday card or invite her for dinner and a movie “just to catch up”. The trick her is to be honest about your motivations. If you had the chance to spend more time with him/her, would you? Are you looking for approval or an ego-boost from him/her?

6. YOUR PARTNER SENSE OF HUMOR NO LONGER MAKES YOU LAUGH
Of course, you may have heard his/her jokes and crazy stories over a hundred times, but people in love tend to look beyond this repetitiveness. They see that their partner is merely being humorous, not how funny something is or isn’t. Humor should be an extension of your happy feelings for each other, after all.

7. YOU’RE DOING ALL THE GIVING - OR ALL THE GETTING
Relationships are all about mutual benefit. If one partner is benefiting over the other, the relationship is not healthy.

8. YOU CONSTANTLY FIND WAYS TO INCLUDE OTHERS IN YOUR ACTIVITIES
Always making an effort to include others in your life indicates that you’re not looking forward to being alone-and intimate-with your partner.

9. YOU’RE FRIENDS NO LONGER BEING W/ YOU WHEN U’RE W/ YOUR PARTNERS
Your friend don’t have to dislike your partner - perhaps they don’t like the effect partner has on YOU!

10. YOU NO LONGER FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND LIFE IN GENERAL
At first, this seems like strange warning sign about your relationship, but think about when you first got close with your partner. You felt GREAT - about yourself and your world. If this confidence and optimism is now lacking, you may want to give your relationship a closer look.

NOTE: If you are feeling at least five(5) of these signs mentioned, then it’s reason enough to really give a long and hard look at your relationship. That’s the scary part….
(Ref. Discover and Keep True Love by J. King)

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