Sunday, October 5, 2008

8 Ways “Perfect Girl” Holds You Back

Many of us let our inner Perfect Girl take the driver’s seat because we believe that she knows all the answers and that she knows better than we do. Indeed, in many cases Perfect Girl has helped us be accomplished, and has helped us develop high standards for our life which is a good thing. However, Perfect Girl can also hold you back from being your true self and from living your most authentic life. Here’s 8 ways Perfect Girl holds you back:

  • Perfect Girl likes to stay within her comfort zone. She will only tackle things she knows she can at least be 90% good at. If you only stick to things you think you’re good at, how do you know you’re not missing out on something you could be awesome at, but would never try because initially it doesn’t look like something you could be good at. Start stepping out of your comfort zone.
  • Perfect Girl is high maintenance. Ever notice that when she is in charge, you are always tired, frustrated, and tense? Why, because Perfect Girl is unrealistic, relentless and pushes you constantly to go way above the call duty. Start asking yourself why you have to do more work than need be.
  • Perfect Girl can’t stop and smell the roses because she’s fixated on wanting to prune the roses, water the roses, and read tips from Martha Stewart to make her roses grow bigger and brighter. In reality, life is not a competition or a beauty contest, only Perfect Girl believes that.
  • Ever wonder why that guy at work whom you think is a “total idiot with dumb half planned ideas” always gets his projects or a budget approved, or gets invited to planning meetings you don’t? Well, that’s because he’s not waiting for “perfect work.” He’s okay with “good enough.” Perfect Girl has to wait until all her ducks are in a row and every “i” is dotted before she’ll move forward, and in the process everyone else passes you by.
  • Perfect Girl starts mentally beating you up because “you” failed at meeting all the goals on her to do list. Instead of focusing on the success you did achieve for the week (prosperity thinking), Perfect Girl focuses on what you failed at (lack thinking). Perfect Girl hinders your prosperity.
  • Perfect Girl apologizes for everything whether it is her fault or not. You are not responsible for other people’s actions, only your own if you genuinely did something to warrant an apology. If they get mad, so what? They will get over it. When you apologize for others you are actually hindering their own growth. People learn by having to reap what they sow.
  • Perfect Girl does not set boundaries because she is afraid of people getting mad at her. This behavior trains people to treat you like a doormat. If you don’t set boundaries, people will continue to push you around, use you, and take advantage of you. In turn you become resentful and angry, so to change that start setting limits with people and tell them so.
  • Perfect Girl is boring and unreal. Turn the tables. Have you ever been around someone who does everything right and perfectly? How does it make you feel? Flaws and imperfections are what make people unique and interesting like a cool worn-in leather jacket.

So, when you feel Perfect Girl starting to take over, remember, you are the one driving your life not her. At the same time, don’t ignore her and do acknowledge that she is a part of you too. When you can work as a team, life becomes better for both of you.

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